Why I'm not afraid of dying

NB: This post is going to be a lot weightier than what I normally write. If you're only interested in my quirky inanities, go ahead and skip this one.

When people find out I don't believe in god, the first question they normally ask is, "What do you think happens when you die?" And the answer, for me at least, is pretty easy: I don't think *anything* happens. I think I'll just...stop.

That idea is really upsetting to most people, and I understand why. We all like existing - being aware of our surroundings, making decisions, loving our friends and family. The idea that some day, all of that will be gone, can be frightening. And I certainly don't mean to belittle that fear. Nor do I wish to seem condescending to those who do believe in an afterlife. I don't believe in a god; that doesn't mean you shouldn't.

That being said, I'm not particularly afraid of dying. I mean, I don't want it to happen soon (I have a lot I'd like to do with my life), but I don't feel overly sad when I contemplate the end of my existence. And here's why: just look at this.

That's about what our own solar system will look like, billions of years from now. Isn't it beautiful? Some day, that will be us - our sun, our planet, our pets, our own atoms and particles. Billions of years after I die, the atoms that once comprised my body will be part of a brilliant nebula, and maybe some astronomer in some distant star system will look at it and notice how beautiful it is.

There's a great quote (alternately attributed to Carl Sagan and Delenn) that says roughly: "We are the universe made conscious, trying to figure itself out."

I'm so happy to be a part of that. One of the things I really want to do in my life, one of my main driving forces, is to expand humanity's knowledge in some small way. That's why I'm getting a PhD; I want to do research, and learn things nobody's known before. I want to help "figure things out" - just a bit more. And that connection - to humanity, and ultimately, the universe, is why I'm not afraid of dying. Even when I'm gone, my contribution will remain.