Name change

I'm getting married soon, and I had decided a while back that in the event I ever got married, I would take my husbands name socially but keep my own name professionally. (And my fiance is ok with this.)

I was talking to a friend of mine, who said he vehemently disagreed with this decision. He felt that in marriage, "the two shall become one" and the couple should have the same surname as a symbol of this. I take his point.

At the same time, I'm working hard for a PhD. When I graduate, I want to be Dr. MyLastName, not Dr. HisLastName. I'm doing the work; I want to use my name.

So I was thinking back, and I think the whole thing started when I read the Foundation Series by Asimov. At one point, one of the characters is talking about his wife, and he says that legally she's Mrs. HisLastName, but he feels like that designation implies that he "owns" her. And he thinks of her as such an individual, and respects her so much as a person, that he always refers to her by her unmarried name. When I read that, I thought it was the sweetest thing I'd ever read. A man who loves his wife so much that he's completely unintimidated by her intellect; who respects her so much that he can't imagine her being anything but an individual.