"One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee."

(the quote's from Dilbert)

And here it is, an analysis of why coffee is actually good for you!

I was actually trying to find a good quote from Captain Janeway (Star Trek Voyager) for this blog post, but wikiquote let me down. None of her good coffee quotes came up in search, and I can't remember any verbatim. Something like, "the best organic substrate suspended in a liquid" and "I beat the Borg with this stuff."

Company Policy

To get new hardware, large company:

Search through company website to find the online request for service application. Request the hardware be bought.
Include: Name, office number, cubicle number, department, name of computer, type of hardware needed (general), specific hardware needed, reason for request, name of project manager, name of functional manager.
Wait two months for approval of hardware to shunt back and forth through departments and red tape.

Search through company website to find the online request for service application (again). Request the official IT person come install the hardware.
Include: Name, office number, cubicle number, department, name of computer, type of hardware to be installed (general), specific hardware to be installed, reason for request, name of project manager, name of functional manager.
Wait one week for IT person to be free.
Discover that the company-sanctioned version of the hardware you need doesn't fit in your computer.

Search through company website to find the online request for service application (third time). Request a new computer, that will hold the new hardware.
Include: Name, office number, cubicle number, department, name of computer, type of hardware needed (general), specific hardware needed, reason for request, name of project manager, name of functional manager.
Screw up some piece of information. Become informed that they can't give you what you requested, and they think there's something fishy about your request in the first place. Spend several hours on the phone calling from one department to another until you find the one person who understands what you need and dictates to you how to fill out the RFS form correctly. If you're lucky, this guy will take pity on you and tell you to just call him when you need the hardware installed and he'll come by and do it.

Wait one week for new computer. Call the nice guy you finally found. Cross fingers until whole operation is complete.

Go tell boss happy news that you can finally do that piece of the project you've been unable to do. Find out that said project has lost funding.

To get new hardware, small company:

Boss: "Go on ebay and see if you can find what you need. We'll reimburse you once you've got it."

Spend half an hour on ebay, find what you need, confirm it has all the parts with seller, place bid.

Snap, Crackle, & Pop

A little background:

If you're trying to describe the motion of something, the first thing you need is its position. If you measure the rate of change of its position, that's called velocity. The rate of change of velocity is acceleration.

I'd always wondered what the rate of change of acceleration was, until one day in college one of my professors mentioned in passing that this quantity does in fact have a name; the rate of change of acceleration is called "jerk."

So, naturally, I had to start wondering what the rate of change of jerk is. But I wonder no more! Thanks to this post in Cosmic Variance, I now know that the rate of change of jerk is snap.

But wait! There's more! The rate of change (derivative) of snap is crackle, and the derivative of crackle is pop.

Snap, crackle, pop. Never let it be said that scientists have no sense of humor.

Nothing but Nets

OK, so it's been a little while since I blogged. But today I read this article in the NYTimes and had to share. =) A good cause, and not much money required to make a difference.

Cool, no?

Science and Religion

"...what can be more important than science and religion? Science gives us knowledge, and religion gives us meaning. Both are prerequisites of the decent existence.”

Congratulations, Professor Heller! I'm really glad to see someone working to reconcile science and religion for once, rather than trying to drive them deeper apart. It's like that moment at the end of "Inherit the Wind" when Henry Drummond picks up a copy of "Origin of Species" in one hand, a Bible in the other, weighs them thoughtfully for a moment, then shrugs, snaps them together, and puts them both in his briefcase. (If you haven't read or seen the play, I highly recommend it. Reading it was the catalyst for my own reflection on the relationship between science and religion.)

Anthropic Principle

This article made me really happy. Because few things annoy me as much as the anthropic principle. In the first X-Men movie, Prof. X tells his students to write the difference between the weak and strong anthropic principles for homework, then explains to Logan that he's teaching physics. I wanted to throw something at the movie screen.

I think this sums it up nicely:

“However, we shouldn't assume that no explanation exists just because we don't yet know one, and, consequently, we should keep looking for an explanation at least until we have a convincing scientific theory that explains many other things and within which one can show that it is impossible to provide an explanation. The most interesting thing is that – unless we do discover a theory of everything – we will not know what is left to discover, which makes the search exciting.”

Being Girlie, part 2

Here's another article on the same topic as before. Two points I found interesting:

1. Being attractive is detrimental. "Beautiful applicants received lower ratings, apparently because they were subconsciously pegged as stereotypically female and therefore unsuited for a job as a boss." Well that sucks. On the one hand society is telling women, "If you're not physically ideal, you're doomed to loneliness your entire life." And now there's a study saying if you are attractive, you're doomed to an unsuccessful career. I would argue the point a bit; I think it's possible to be both pretty and successful, but it does take more work to prove that you're more than just pretty. I was told in engineering school that while it might be easier to get a job as a woman engineer, it would be much harder to prove to my coworkers/superiors that I deserved the job due to the assumption that I only got the job to boost the equal opportunities numbers.
On the other hand, I think it would be great if more bosses thought like Dr. House:

Dr. House: Would that upset you, really? To think that you were hired because of some genetic gift of beauty, not some genetic gift of intelligence?

Dr. Cameron: I worked very hard to get where I am.

Dr. House: But you didn't have to. People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort. That's the law of nature, and you defied it. That's why I hired you. You could have married rich, could have been a model, you could have just shown up and people would have given you stuff. Lots of stuff, but you didn't, you worked your stunning little ass off.

2. Can't have it both ways. "A woman can be perceived as competent or as likable, but not both." I've heard this before, and I've also seen it in action. When a man expresses emotion in the workplace, he's being "forceful" or "assertive" or "passionate." When a woman expresses emotion in the workplace, she's being "emotional." On the flip side, if she shows no emotion, she's "cold." Again, I do have to pick a bone a bit and say that I don't think it's impossible for a woman leader to be perceived as both competent and likable, but it's certainly difficult. That's why, when I meet a woman who has risen through the ranks, and who I think manages to walk that very fine line, I try to analyze exactly how she does it. How does she manage to be firm but not bitchy, polite but still assertive, encouraging but not naive?

This is why I like to watch "Voyager" (yes, I'm a Trekkie, I'm not ashamed.) Capt. Janeway has to look after her crew almost like a family, but no one would ever claim she's not tough enough. I'm always fascinated how the writers managed to make this character both competent and likable...and then try to figure out if how she acts would work when applied to the real world.

Comments welcome =)